HOW DID YOU KEEP THIS FROM ME?
Not too long ago I wrote a piece about juggalos, America’s favorite (mostly) white trash. Then I stumbled upon this article in my usual creeping of the interwebs for all things wonderful. It happens to be a beautiful mix of irony, tragedy, and hopefully… triumph.
You see, Violet J, of ICP, aka the fat one, has cancer. Not something like Mesothelioma where he could hire a TV lawyer, and we could all feel bad because he served his country proud by removing asbestos after WWII or some bullshit. No, he has skin cancer. Do you want to guess where, and from what? This is where the story gets beautiful. On his fucking FACE, from his fucking CLOWN MAKEUP!
You know what is super creepy? My post about them came on October 25th. Reports surfaced on his diagnosis on October 26th! Did I give Violent J super advanced cancer? Do I just have impeccable timing? (c’mon, you know the answer there is yes) That’s pretty wild! I should focus on better things like winning the lottery.
Here he is without makeup. Kinda looks like Guy Fieri dontcha think?
You see, he not only wore the face paint while out doing shows or whatever ICP still does relevantly in the public eye. Apparently he wore this shit at home as well. In doing a little research, I also found out he has a HULKAMANIA shrine in his home. Definitely never saw that coming. Not the liking wrestling part, that was totally expected. But the Hulkster? The Ultimate Warriors must be turning in their graves. I mean that was almost certain!
Now, I am going to go out on a limb with the guess that he probably was not going to the doctor that regularly as is – just given his general appearance. He’s pretty fucking fat. He was probably going to die eventually of some other form of cancer/heart disease. So saying that his clown makeup will ultimately cause his demise would be forgiving such garbage as Faygo soda, general lethargy, and poor eating habits. But that could have been YEARS down the road. Instead it looks like he has only about a 10% chance of surviving this, based on other similar cases.
At least this picture won’t ever come around to haunt him for eternity.. oh wait!
The ultimate irony and tragedy of this story though is that this tumor could have been caught early enough that treatment would have given him a much better chance at life. However, the constant face painting hid the “tell-tale signs of growth”, according to his oncologist Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador.
To summarize: by constantly being “in character”, fat clown wound up giving himself cancer, hiding the advancing states of tumor development, and (likely) perishing as a result of this. Talk about studying for a part!
Always caring and compassionate, the skinny one Shaggy 2 Dope had nothing but words of encouragement and enlightenment for the billions of fans across the globe.
“I’m switchin’ to motherfuckin’ safe face paints from now on. All you other juggalos out there, spray-paintin’ yourselves ‘n shit, y’all need to get real. Clown makeup ain’t no joke no more. Woop woop!”
They say laughter is the best medicine…
See the full article here
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